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Philadelphia Family Lawyer > Blog > Family Law > Is It Really Best To Stay Together For The Kids?

Is It Really Best To Stay Together For The Kids?


Going through a divorce is difficult enough for the adults going through it. When there are children involved, it is also especially hard on them. Parents know this and sometimes decide to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of protecting their children from the difficult process of divorce. If you are thinking about delaying divorce for your kids, below are a few reasons why you should not.

You Deserve Happiness

Getting a divorce is difficult, but it is even harder to stay in an unhappy marriage for several years. You deserve to be happy and sometimes, that may mean getting a fresh start on your own. As a parent, you always put your child’s needs above yours but by doing what is best for you, you are also doing what is best for them.

Staying Together is a Short-Term Solution

Not getting a divorce right away will provide some short-term benefits, such as delaying child custody disputes and placing strain on your kids. However, these benefits are only temporary. Children can sense when there is conflict in the home, even if you and your spouse do not argue in front of the kids. As time goes on and they are regularly exposed to that tension, it can cause them to withdraw, develop behavioral problems, and become disruptive. These are likely many of the things you were trying to avoid by staying married.

Divorce Teaches Kids How to Adjust

You do not have to get a divorce to raise your children into well-adjusted adults, but there is no question that after a divorce, they will have to adjust. They will only live primarily with one parent, and may see their other parent much less. They may also move out of the home they grew up in, and perhaps even out of their community. None of these things are easy for kids to do, but going through them can better prepare them to adjust to whatever life may throw their way.

Staying Together May Lead to Resentment

If you stay together solely to shield your children from the divorce process, it can lead to resentment building on all sides. You and your spouse will likely come to resent each other more the longer time goes on, which creates a very unhealthy environment. Additionally, your children may resent you for it in the future. If they learn that you only stayed together for them, they may end up blaming themselves for your unhappiness, which could also lead to resentment.

Our Family Lawyer Can Help You Start the Process

No one ever wants their marriage to end but when you become unhappy in it, it may be time. If you are thinking about divorce, our Philadelphia family lawyer at the Law Offices of Lauren H. Kane is here to help you through the process. Call us today at 215-918-9453 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.

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